


the sun is a star, but you’re my moon

by yatomo



Series: the sun and moon [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Boys In Love, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Midnight romance, Stargazing, Tragic Romance, hand holding, hyunsung are also learning to forgive, hyunsung hate each other if u squint, idk just thought i’d mention it, implied arranged relationship, kind of sad, minho gets flirty like twice, minsung have my heart, part one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 12:47:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19318489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yatomo/pseuds/yatomo
Summary: “but we haven’t kissed.”minho laughed, staring back at jisung with fondness, “do you want to kiss me?”jisung became numb to the stinging cold of the water nipping at his body. his breath was stolen from him, as he fell in love with minho all over again. there was always something about the older boy that drew jisung to him. he couldn’t bare to stay away, even if he knew fate was beyond cruel.“more than anything,” jisung finally spoke, “i might be a little in love with you.”“then what’re you waiting for, han jisung? i’m yours.”





	the sun is a star, but you’re my moon

**Author's Note:**

> literally so messy and kinda sad i’m sorry :(( but here’s my playlist while writing!! 
> 
> come back - 威神v  
> still into you - paramore  
> don’t need your love - nct dream x hrvy  
> slow dancing in the dark - joji  
> under yard - artique  
> then we - jeebanoff  
> can’t get over you - joji  
> the romance is over - vixx  
> personal - hrvy  
> simon says - nct 127  
> 4ever - the boyz  
> illusion - ateez
> 
> and a few other shuffled songs!!

carefully, jisung balanced himself on the makeshift bridge, gently swaying to each side, pointedly ignoring the snickers coming from the boy next to him. from above, the canopy of variegated leaves shrouded them in whimsical twilight, but allowed the benign glimmer of the moon to begin to filter in, casting a soft glow against their bronzed skin. 

the boy, lee minho, splashed cold water all over jisung, before offering him a hand. pouting, the former intertwined their fingers effortlessly, and fell into his open arms. it was so easy to melt into minho’s gentle embrace, that jisung momentarily allowed himself to forget that this love could never be his. still, tonight was theirs. 

under the endlessness of the melancholy blue, they could conquer anything, and break the characters they so desperately had been hiding behind. status and labels could never define their wanderlusting souls, and for a few hours, they could pretend that fate couldn’t bare to chain blossoming love down. 

minho slowly swam them over to the riverbank, laughing and never letting his hand leave jisung’s own. it was almost an unspoken promise, jisung decided, as he reveled at the delicate winsomeness that reflected in minho’s hooded eyes. 

“pretty,” jisung whispered, before ducking his head in sudden embarrassment at the other’s amused smile. 

“you know what’s prettier?” minho gave jisung a lazy grin, as he leaned closer. 

“the stars?” 

“you.” 

“oh,” jisung managed to choke out, as he let himself fall completely victim to the flawed beauty that was the boy before him. he couldn’t even find it in himself to focus on a single detail of imperfect perfection, as they existed solely to taunt jisung’s sanguine disposition. 

minho brushed his lithe fingers through jisung’s unruly locks of hair, eyes forming crescents, as he hummed a familiar melody. after what jisung wished was eternity, minho stopped, and closed his eyes. “do you think the gods are laughing at us right now?” 

“what?” jisung asked, genuinely taken aback. 

“a pair of dumb teens escape under the moonlight to kiss, to escape their tragic reality. sounds pretty humorous to me,” he said, but despite it, didn’t crack a smile. 

jisung shivered, and minho pulled him closer. in that moment, dozens of lights in the distance twinkled, and he had to shield his eyes from the sheer brunt of the glare. minho’s question sunk deep into jisung’s mind, and he suddenly felt too exposed, painfully aware of their situation. 

instead of facing the wrath of moirai, however, he sheepishly raised his eyebrow, “but we haven’t kissed.” 

“that’s what you got from that?” minho laughed, staring back at jisung with fondness. his expression, though, soon changed into one of impish mischief, “do you want to kiss me?” 

jisung became numb to the stinging cold of the water nipping at his body. his breath was stolen from him, as he fell in love with minho all over again. there was always something about the older boy that drew jisung to him. he couldn’t bare to stay away, even if he knew fate was beyond cruel.

“more than anything,” jisung finally spoke, “i might be a little in love with you.” 

it was an understatement, but he couldn’t risk allowing minho to see how weak and vulnerable he felt. jisung acquiesced that he was to show only his playful side right now. the tears would come a different time. 

“then what’re you waiting for, han jisung? i’m yours.” for tonight was left unsaid. 

without another word, jisung closed the distance, appreciating the way that minho immediately let his lips meet jisung’s own, and felt something akin to chaste desire wash over him. he was drowning in the primal need to beg minho to stay with him, long after the sun would rise, so he wouldn’t have to drown in his own sorrows and self pity. instead, he wrapped his hands around minho’s neck. 

minho reminded him of home, and jisung let himself become drunk on the feeling, too cowardly to sober his heart up enough to make a coherent confession. for now, he convinced himself, this is more than enough. 

their bodies were pressed against each other, but minho seemed to somehow pull him even closer in a tight hug. the older boy was almost intoxicating, and jisung could only drink in minho’s passionate fervor, too elated to do much else. 

minho cupped jisung’s cheeks, as he finally pulled away to breathe, and smiled into the crook of the younger boy’s neck. he stayed silent for a long time, not moving, before recapturing jisung’s lips. this time was less precise and more needy, and jisung felt tears prick at his eyes. he tried to blink them away hastily, not wanting to wory the other, but minho quickly pulled away. 

“did i hurt you?” 

“no—“ jisung sniffed, letting minho wipe his tears away gently— “i’m sorry, i don’t know why i’m crying.” 

“no, it’s fine, i-... let’s get out of here before we catch a cold. i want to take you somewhere before we head back.” 

once jisung nodded in agreement, minho took his hand again, and they began to swim back to the bridge. despite the chill that shook jisung’s body, warmth blossomed in his chest. the moon lit up the dirt pathway that they had taken, and they soundlessly walked next to each other, their shoulders brushing every few steps of the way. 

the path turned into a clearing, and minho grinned at jisung, “it’s good for stargazing. i’ve been meaning to show you this place.” 

staring up at the sky in wonder, jisung found that minho’s excitement was contagious, “wow. it’s gorgeous. i can’t believe i didn’t know this part of the forest existed.” 

“i actually only found it a few weeks ago. i was walking with seungmin and hyunjin—“ jisung’s nose scrunched at the mention of the second name and minho laughed— “is he still your mortal enemy?” 

“of course.” jisung pouted. “and besides, he said i looked like a squirrel when i was eating.” 

“but i said that too.” 

“you’re… different, i guess. i don’t like when hyunjin says it,” jisung admitted, “i just don’t like my cheeks in general.” 

minho frowned, “but they’re cute.” 

“okay, but they’re not!” jisung sputtered in indignation. 

“you’re just blind. let me do the judging,” the latter then pinched jisung’s cheeks in mock determination, “my verdict is that you’re cute.” 

“shut up.” jisung flushed a soft pink. minho playfully zipped his lips, and then gestured for jisung to sit down next to him. 

the sky was littered with thousands of blazing stars, and jisung sighed in utter contentment, as he leaned back against minho. the stars were swirling and churning in the darkness, like streaks of fire and ice against a blackened canvas. it reminded jisung of the beautiful fragility that graced the world, and how the magic of the night didn't exist for unloyal eyes. 

the universe was unknown, but next to him, he knew no one understood minho like he did. 

“hey,” jisung began, voice soft and tiny, hating the way that he sounded like a child, “what are we doing?” 

now it was minho’s turn to be surprised, “what?” 

“this. all of this. what happens when the sun comes up?” his murmur died into a broken whisper, “will you leave me?” 

there was a long period of silence. jisung feared looking over at the older boy. 

“i knew we shouldn’t have done this,” minho said, voice shaking, “i don’t want to hurt you, and yet... this is all so stupid.” 

“can i say something selfish? just once.” 

minho glanced at him, before nodding carefully. “okay.” 

“i wish you could be mine. it’s all so natural—“ jisung nudged the arm that found its way around his waist— “that i can’t imagine doing this without you.” 

“god, i really don’t want to leave you,” minho breathlessly laughed, “it’s just that i’m a coward. i don’t know how to escape this situation without hurting people.” 

“i know,” jisung muttered weakly, “it’s okay.” 

jisung’s raw emotions were dominated by a hollow and foreign type of anguish. for a quiet second, his name became sorrow, and he basked in the pain. minho’s cruel albatross became jisung’s worst enemy. if only he knew how to take more initiative, or was better at hiding things, nothing would have turned out like this.

he hoped that maybe in a different universe, another jisung and minho existed, and that they were able to openly express themselves without earning disdain or mockery from the faceless people suffocating them. it was a dream that was too far out of reach, but jisung would be damned if he didn’t at least yearn for it. 

“that’s aquila.” 

jisung hummed, as he looked in the direction minho was pointing. the constellation was gorgeously ostentatious, yet so untouchable, and it rightfully mirrored how jisung felt about minho. 

“i think it’s supposed to be an eagle, but i don’t listen much when hyunjin nerds about stars,” minho lightly joked, “if you look closer, you should see altair pretty easily.” 

jisung hummed again, but his attention was now focused on minho. pristine colors and hues of beauty colored him whole, and even picasso himself would shed a few tears at minho’s tantalizing presence, either completely bewitched or resentfully envious. 

after a couple of reticent hours under the fading stars, minho squeezed jisung’s hand, “i think we need to head back now. the sun’ll peak over the horizon soon.” 

“okay,” jisung breathed out, “okay.” 

“we can stop for breakfast first. woojin and his kid brother are working the morning shift, so they won’t rat us out, or anything.” 

“sure,” 

with that, they began to walk to the convenience store, making small conversations in between to alleviate the growing tension between them. like minho had predicted, the glow of the fateful sun began to shine down on them, and jisung quickly decided it made him unbearably uncomfortable. 

minho held the door open for him, and jisung winced at the piercing sound of the bell chiming so early in the morning. looking around, the small store looked the same, mind a few added shelves and produce, and jisung found it oddly nostalgic. he unconsciously ghosted his fingertips against minho’s wrist, only realizing once the boy began to shake his head in obvious disapproval. jisung swallowed. 

“hey, woojin,” minho greeted, leaving jisung to look around for something to eat, “mind if we get a few things?” woojin rolled his eyes.

“yes, dear customer, i do mind,” his eyes locked onto jisung, who was trying to reach something on the top shelf, and his eyebrows furrowed, “you brought jisung? are you both…” 

minho shook his head, “i need to get him home. just thought i’d feed him, as the amazing date i am,” woojin stared hard at him, “not funny?” 

“minho,” he sounded exasperated, “i don’t know why you do this to yourself. you weren’t supposed to be with him, and you know that.” 

“all too well,” minho grimaced, “yell at me all you want. i deserve it, trust me i‘m aware, but i can’t regret wanting to see him before… you know.” 

“are you meeting him today?” 

nodding, minho glanced over at jisung, who was happily preoccupied with jeongin, who was excitedly rambling about a new game minho had never heard about, “yeah, later in the afternoon. my father said as soon as we get to know each other, the easier it’ll be. i’m just worried.” 

“not for yourself.” woojin frowned. 

“not for myself,” minho confirmed. 

“i hope you know what you’re doing. i love both of them, and i know you can only see jisung right now, but… don’t break his heart either.” 

“i won’t. i promised i’d get to know him at the very least, and i know it’s not his fault. i just wish it didn’t turn out this way. i’m sorry.” 

woojin opened his mouth to respond, but jisung ran over to the counter excitedly, with jeongin in tow, shoving a colorful assortment of chips and candy at minho, who smiled warmly at him. 

“hey, i said breakfast,” he poked jisung’s cheek, “you’re gonna get sick if you eat all of this.” 

jisung moved to bite at minho’s finger, “whatever. i have a stomach of steel.” 

“that’s not what you said last time you threw up after eating five bags of hershey kisses,” minho teased. 

the younger boy stuck out his tongue, “jeonginnie will come over and eat some with me, right?” 

before jeongin could answer, woojin shook his head in feigned disgust, “no. i will not let you give this kid anymore cavities. minho can buy the heart disease and diabetes for you, but don’t throw jeongin into this.” 

jeongin whined, and minho chuckled. “alright. just this once.” this is the last time though, jisung thought bitterly. still, he made sure to cheer outwardly. 

after paying and exchanging a few more good-natured words, the two left the convenience store, a strange distance now forming between them. the sun had been up. 

the walk back to jisung’s house was slow, and he wanted nothing more than to intertwine his fingers with minho’s own one more time. in lieu of this, he clasped his own hands together, and turned to look at minho, afraid of the fear eating him up. 

“so… are you excited?” 

minho sent him a tired look, “jisung.” 

“sorry. i don’t know what i’m saying,” there was a pause, “can i know his name?” 

minho wore a pained expression, his weary face bleak and fatigued. looking at him like this, jisung was able to see the bags that rested under his bloodshot eyes, and each broken promise that couldn’t leave minho’s lips. everything was collapsing around jisung. 

“i don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

“please, minho. i want to know who he is.” 

the older boy sent him a pointed look, but couldn’t come off as threatening even if he had wanted to. all jisung saw was his fate reflecting back at him. he wanted to destroy the image. 

a sigh, “his name is bang chan.” 

“bang chan, huh? i hope he’s good to you.” 

“me too,” minho said, his voice fading into nothing more than a distant whisper. 

they arrived in jisung’s backyard, sneaking around towering trees and old patio furniture, and were relieved to see that his parents hadn’t seemed to be up yet. now, all jisung could focus on was what he had been dreading. it was the end of their chapter. he wasn’t sure if he was ready to turn the page. 

“well,” he began, eyes glued to the daffodils that grew proudly from the ground. it brought back fond memories. minho and jisung had decided to plant it when they had been a little too drunk two summers ago, “i guess this is it.” 

“hey, look at me—“ minho gently tilted jisung’s chin up— “i don’t want our last meaningful moment together to be… this. i want you to be honest with me, before we have to become liars again.” 

jisung look at minho evenly, “sure. yeah. i can probably do that.” 

they stood outside of jisung’s window now, shielded from the bleeding sun, a single breath apart. although the boy he loved stood in front of him, jisung felt alone. minho had been his unfaltering pillar of gentle support ever since he had been young, and it hurt to know that he had to let him go. jisung didn't want to lose his protector, because what was the protected without him? 

he tried his best to focus on the unkempt grass tickling his bug bitten ankles, or the melody of the chirping birds dancing in the clear sky, but in the end, like a curse and a blessing, it was always lee minho. it would always be lee minho. 

“i’m in love with you,” jisung said, a little too suddenly. 

minho’s eyes seemed to slightly widen, as he desperately searched the former’s face for any trace of a humorously hurtful lie, before nodding slowly, “i’m… i’m in love with you too—“ he laughed faintly— “god, this is so pathetic. it took me losing you to realize.” 

minho’s reciprocated confession stung like salt in his newly opened wounds, and a dark voice in his head wished that minho viewed jisung as nothing more than a inconsequential summer fling. it would have been so much easier then. 

“i couldn’t even admit it to myself for a while,” jisung admitted, playing with the loose threads of his shirt, “but i know for sure now. though, it’s a little too late, right?” his chuckle sounded strained to his own ears. he sounded like he was on the brink of crying. 

“yeah,” minho smiled miserably, “too late.” 

more silence. jisung was starting to wonder if they had always been like this. “i know i’ve said some selfish things. now can i ask you to do something selfish?” 

“okay,” minho breathed out. 

“can you kiss me again?” 

it was foolish, jisung knew, and he was sure minho had thought the same thing, but nothing could stop him from wanting the impossible. to his surprise, however, minho used his arms to trap him under him, leaning in with the smirk jisung would miss so dearly. 

soft lips met his, and jisung was aware all too quickly that he was pitifully addicted. minho carefully pressed him against the grass, as he grasped jisung like he was his last lifeline. an arm snaked around his waist, and a hand gently caressed his face. 

something warm wet his cheeks, and jisung realized that they were his tears. minho’s eyes looked glassy too, as he kissed jisung until his lips were red and swollen, and it was a hauntingly beautiful memory that would follow jisung to his grave. 

once jisung pulled away, minho engulfed him in a comforting embrace. it reminded jisung of the time that they had first met. it had been during the first fight he had ever had with hyunjin, after he accompanied felix, who he still had nightmares about, to his third showcase, and he didn’t expect to be hugged, albeit awkwardly, by the older boy he knew nothing about. seeing where they were now, limbs tangled and lips locked, jisung could almost muster a real smile. 

“i’m sure you’ll find someone,” minho spoke, as he brushed his fingers through jisung’s messy hair. 

“but they won’t be you.” 

“no, they won’t be,” minho mused, “but maybe that’ll be a good thing.” 

“how would that be a good thing?” jisung snorted, playfully swatting minho’s hands away. 

“just look at us. you deserve something more. it’ll be a good thing. trust me, alright?” 

“i—“ jisung tried— “yeah… sure. maybe it will be.” 

“now that’s the spirit. are you ready to go in?” 

no, he never would be, jisung wanted to childishly protest, but he nodded his head instead. minho helped him to his feet, and then assisted him in climbing back into his room, the window left open from when he had first sneaked out, and stared at him fondly. 

“what?” 

“i’m in love with you.” 

“i-i know,” jisung’s heart clenched, and he felt a dull pang of pain in his chest, “you told me already.” 

“i know,” minho mimicked in a teasing tone, “i just wanted to say it one last time.” 

“okay,” jisung managed to choke out, “i’m also in love with you. now can you hug me before i cry?” 

“again.” 

“again.” jisung repeated. 

in the safety of minho’s arms, the younger boy couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if he had never fought with hyunjin. would he have met minho? their love emanated and grew from nothingness, and jisung wasn’t sure if he could go through it again with someone else. everything he ever knew rested in his hands of the boy before him. minho had been his soulmate, and a reminder that he would always be grounded in the hardest of times, but the fate of star crossed lovers had always been too cruel. he was to lose his star. his moon. 

a loud noise from the room next to jisung’s brought them back to earth. the wind swayed the trees outside of his window, and it was suddenly so painful to see minho under the golden sunlight, glowing and ethereal without him. 

“then this is goodbye.” minho didn’t smile. 

jisung sighed, “i hate this.” 

“i know. i’ll find some way to reach you.” 

jisung doubted his words, but gratefully nodded anyways. he guessed that they were back to being liars. with that in mind, he forced a grin onto his face. 

“i’m sure bang chan will make you happy.” the name rolled off of his tongue uncomfortably. he wanted to loathe the existence of the faceless boy, but he couldn’t find it in his heart to hate anymore. he was just exhausted. 

“i’m sure someone will make you happy, too.” jisung simply hoped that minho’s statement would prove to be true in the future. for now, there was no one else but the boy before him. 

minho didn’t part with him through a dramatic kiss or a romantic hug, but jisung decided that it had been for the best, as he stared at the back of minho’s retreating figure, able to see that he was shaking through his own blurred vision. at least like this, he wouldn’t have to see minho sobbing. 

“please don’t go.” jisung whispered to no one but himself. 

droplets of tears began to fall, like rain against arid soil, and he could do nothing but continue to watch as minho disappeared over the wooden fence separating jisung’s yard from the backroad. it hurt like nothing jisung ever knew, and in that brief second, he could only think of one person to call to quell his broken heart. 

a tired voice answered, sounding slightly annoyed, “hello? who is this?” 

the boy closed his eyes, and swallowed thickly, feeling how disgustingly dry his mouth had become in the last few hours. he hesitantly licked his chapped lips, still tasting minho on them, and cleared his throat, bringing the phone to his ear, the usual confidence he carried himself with gone. he opened his eyes. 

“you don’t have my number saved? ouch.” 

there was a long pause on the other side, “jisung?” 

“yeah,” he laughed, sounding too stiff, roughly wiping the ugly tears that had streaked his cheeks bitterly, ”it’s me.” 

“i think you have the wrong number, then.” 

“is this hwang hyunjin?” 

“you have the wrong number.” 

“nope. i have the right one.” 

hyunjin scoffed, as if he was going to bite out another harsh remark, but his voice wavered, “are you… are you crying?” 

“uh—“ jisung sniffed— “just a little. minho just… left.” 

while only felix really knew about the extent of jisung’s feelings prior to the incident, he was sure hyunjin was able to pick it up through his friendship with minho, if not by jisung’s obvious actions. he also knew that the dancer was aware about minho and chan. 

there was another pause. “why’re you calling me?” 

that was a good question. jisung wasn’t sure if he had ever willingly called hyunjin after their relationship turned sour. he was surprised that he even had the other boy’s number saved on his phone. still, he was already this far into it. he refused to back out now. 

“thought you could be a good distraction.” 

jisung was sure hyunjin had hung up on him, as the silence spanned out for another minute or two, but he was too afraid to check. while he hadn’t been on good terms with hyunjin for the past couple years, they knew a lot about each other from the time beforehand. jisung wasn’t sure anyone else could help him start to heal. 

a sigh, however, thankfully proved him wrong, “can you give me a minute?” 

jisung felt something warm and familiar bloom in his chest. while they were far from forgiving each other, jisung figured this was a start. they had hurt each other for far too long, holding onto petty words and feelings, and jisung didn’t think he could balance the weight of it all with his newfound heartache. 

this time, he wanted to learn to forgive hyunjin. 

“yeah—“ a soft smile— “i can.”

**Author's Note:**

> there may be a hyunsung/banginho centered side story eventually! i’m working on a longer minsung au right now, but please let me know if you’d consider reading a second part! but i hope you enjoyed this, as sad as it was haha


End file.
